Celebrating Failure

Failure is something I have had to overcome during my college career, and let me tell you, it was not easy. I faced my first really big failure when I took the GMAT going into my sophomore year. I was told that it wasn't hard, and I would be fine. I needed this GMAT score to apply to graduate school which I am currently in the process of. Everyone told me that the minimum score I needed to reach was absolutely attainable with little prep and I would achieve it with flying colors. (also let me tell you, I am NOT a good standardized test taker and don't see how they measure my intelligence level in the slightest, but that is another subject). So with months of prep from a prep book, I sat down and took the GMAT, and I was 30 points off of the score everyone told me was so easily attainable. The score comes out automatically, and I was absolutely devastated. I ran out of the room crying, feeling so stupid that I prepared for months to attain a score everyone thought was so easy. Accepting defeat was a tough pill to swallow and for days I had a pity party for myself, how I was never going to get into grad school, how I wasn't good enough.. etc. However, I didn't have an option but to pick myself up and try again. I had to get this minimum score, it wasn't going away. So after wiping the tears, I got  back out the prep book and hired a tutor for round two. This time, I registered for the test in a different area around Tampa, to ensure the bad vibes from the last testing center didn't come back to haunt me. Months, hours, and money passed, here I was confident and ready for round 2 with the GMAT. I submitted my test, crossing my fingers that the magical number would show up on my screen. Well... It did... minus 10 points. I had failed AGAIN by 10 points on a score that everyone else could get with their eyes shut. Wow, that stung. I didn't have words for now the year I had prepared for this test. Tears welled up in my eyes as I met my mom back in the car. I had no idea how I was going to do this, yes I improved, but now couldn't get over the fact that I failed. I had long pep talks with mom and dad about how success doesn't teach you anything and how failure builds character. I took some of it to heart,  but deep down I just didn't have the stamina to get through it. I also knew I couldn't give up yet. This test COULD NOT beat me. Am I really going to let a standardized test get in the way of my future?! This time, I got mad. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, hired the tutor, bought another prep book, and devoted more time to it than school. 3rd times a charm they say? I took this test in Gainesville, having my best friend pick me up and my boyfriend drop me off. I had the support system there at all times, and I walked out of that testing room with a score 30 points higher than I needed. That feeling will be with me for the rest of my life. A year and a half of frustration, tears, embarrassment, and time later- I did it. I conquered the GMAT, and I cannot tell you how amazing it felt to grin from ear to ear about something that made me feel so terrible.

I learned incredible life lessons that I will have engrained on my heart throughout my life. I learned that

1. a support system is HUGE in tackling failure. If it weren't for the people around me, not letting me give up and believing in me, I couldn't have done it. I needed these people to pick me up when I'm down. They stood there and told me "Lauren we know you can, you need to start telling yourself that". Without them, I wouldn't be here telling you my story.

2. As my dad said "No one learns anything from success. You learn when you fail." I just thought this was something to make me feel better, but now having gone through all of that, that quote makes all the sense in the world. You don't gain experience by succeeding, for if you succeed, you don't have anything to learn. Failure GROWS you, it takes you at your weakest, most vulnerable point, and it builds your character. That is something everyone needs to experience. The power of failure and how incredibly life changing it can be.

3. You never can let failure win. ever. If you give in to the hard times, you don't grow. You are just in a hole of depression and will never get that sense of accomplishment. I was knocked down again and again. But something inside of me stayed lit. I had to do it, I had to finish. Failure doesn't want you to finish. But overcoming that failure is one of the greatest most proud feelings you will ever have. I challenge you to never give up. No matter how many times life knocks you down, get up. Looking back on it, no one ever said it was better to stay down and get trampled than getting up and trying. I learned, will you?